I was up at Easton today seeing a movie, and afterward I went to Barnes and Noble for a bit. I spent about as much time in there as humanly possible, picked up a Delce de Leche Frapuccino and headed to the door... only to find out that my beautiful sunny day had turned into a rainy mess. I reluctantly circled back through the store in hopes that the clouds would go away and I could venture out again. Eventually I decided that since I had already read the titles of every book on both floors, I had no other option than to brave the rain in misery. As I was headed out a man walked in with an umbrella and put it in the rack by the door. Of course! Easton has a complimentary umbrella rack in every shop to keep the business going during the bad weather. I had forgotten. The answer to my needs had been right there in front of me the whole time; I just didn't realize it until I saw someone else with what I wanted. Hmmm.

So off I went with my Easton umbrella in one hand, voraciously sucking down the Frappuccino in the other. I was headed toward the fountain to make some wishes with my pennies, and I took the long way around the building instead of cutting through. Now that I had my umbrella I was fortified against the perils of the world! I don't know how long it had stopped raining before I realized it... I was so caught up in my thoughts and my delicious iced beverage that I didn't notice the clouds had parted somewhere between the bookstore and the fountain. There I was, holding fast to my protection... my security... and I didn't even realize I didn't need it anymore. I had to put it away so that the sun could shine on my face. Hmmm.

Well, I made it to the fountain and threw in my pennies. I had four.

I wish to get A's on both of my finals.
I wish for confidence.
I wish for happiness.

The third one I wish for every time I have a wish to make. I figure there must be some merit in quantity. The fourth one I shall save for myself... It is a bit too telling for this episode.

On the way back to the main building I did find myself wishing for one more thing... I wished I had brought my laptop. Something about walking around Easton alone always makes the thoughts fly through my head at uncountable miles per hour. It is always frustrating that when left to its own devices my mind fills up with overlapping murmers of fleeting thoughts and ideas, coming and passing so quickly that I cannot pin one down. The self-analyzing caused by the umbrella... Spanish class... my sister... a stack of blank journals... license plates... my dad... contact lenses... boats... beauty... love... hapiness... the guy at Starbucks who looked at me like I was an idiot when I asked for my drink without the 'crunchy-bits' on top.

I have to focus on something or I will lose my sanity. It is easier to quiet the voices in the daytime when I can empty their words onto a page or shut them out while I concentrate on a project at hand. Nights are difficult, though, with the emptiness around me. I have to exhaust my brain before I go to bed or the murmers become shouting in my ears and I cannot rest. Countless evenings I lay asleep in my bed with a pen in my hand, tracing faint directionless lines on the page of a crossword puzzle. Word puzzles are my saving grace on the nights when the far side of my bed is too cold and empty.

Ahh, but I am quite off-topic now, am I not? The point of this was the umbrella, and how much even such a small thing can make you think about yourself and the world when you take the time to pay attention. And as you know, for being so busy, I have nothing but time.